The sexual process really defines the different attitude of the genders to perfection. This is where expectations are as far apart as possible, particularly the way men view women and expect them to behave in the bedroom, and vice versa. This next statement might sound very trite and obvious, but it really needs stressing. Men and women do not view sex in the same way!

It is amazing how many people try to deny that basic but crucial difference in perception. Yet this variance in viewpoint has been the cause of the biggest misunderstanding between men and women down the ages, especially for modern and more liberated couples. Most women expect men to view sex and its consequences with greater respect, while men view it in more functional terms. Let’s explain that even more simply.

With their penis being external to them, men tend to view sex as a physical release and attach less emotional interpretations to it. For many men, most sex they have is likely to be regarded as just ‘good shags’. But with women’s sex organs being internal, allowing entry to their bodies is both a major decision and event for them. They are more reticent about the quantity and quality of the men who get that privilege. There is also the cultural expectations of women guarding their honour from predatory males. For some women, virginity, in particular, is almost like a prize awarded to the most deserving. Thus, sex is closely attached to their emotions, to positive feelings of worth and acceptance.

Moment of Passion
Sex is also the last frontier to making a woman a mother and that immediately carries commitment and loyalty for a long-term mate or for the one who impregnates her. That is part of the reason why a woman might spend ages wondering why her spouse could have a one-night stand and think nothing of it, or expect her not to get upset about it, or why it is perceived as just ‘a moment of passion’ or release for him. Having attached her own emotional feelings to it, she would see the act itself as representing something far greater, perhaps a switch in emotion and preference for the man.

Men appear to be aroused by almost any nice body while women are affected by charming, successful men in romantic situations. That’s a generalisation, but most single men would welcome sex without love, while most women desire love and commitment first before having sex. That partly explains why men tend to have so many partners in their lifetime and have less difficulty separating their feeling of ‘love’ from the sex they have, while most women tend to have fewer partners and associate being ‘in love’ with almost all of them. It is also the reason why manhy women are likely to expect a long-term relationship after an enjoyable sexual encounter while most men are likely to see that event as part of a routine day – nothing special!

Again, the desire for sexual release, which also releases tension, means that men are almost slaves to their penises! This sexual organ not only appears to have a brain of its own, capable of causing the downfall of the most powerful and iconic (British ministers Profumo and Mellor, and American President Clinton, to name a few in our time), it also dictates how men see themselves and their prowess, their appeal and their worth. Men, who often dismiss women on the most spurious of physical reasons, are extremely thin-skinned when it comes to being rejected themselves – particularly for sex. They cannot bear that someone they like doesn’t fancy them at all, yet can be ruthless themselves with giving unappealing women short shrift! But let’s explore these fundamental differences further.