Ever wanted to achieve more sexual pleasure for you and your partner?

Have you ever felt like your sexual patterns are preventing you and your lover from experiencing sex as blissfully as you know it can be?

Does the prospect of having sex sometimes seem too daunting just because of a history of unsatisfying experiences?

Changing your sexual patterns may be a burning issue for you, a passing curiosity or perhaps you know someone that could benefit from this information.

In any case I am sure you will find the following informative and interesting.

1. Slow down.

It may seem obvious, but the number one way to make sex last longer is to do everything slower.

Breathing, feeling, foreplay, kissing and intercourse are all parts of the sex act that do not need to be rushed.

2. Give everything time.

Every moment in sex is worth experiencing fully.

Let things unfold in their own time and you will be rewarded with richer experiences during sex and more learning and satisfaction from sex.

3. Deepen your breathing.

Our breath connects us deeply to our body and its rhythms, as well as the rhythm of other bodies near us.

Focusing on breathing also helps to quiet the mind and sooth any internal dialogue that may be interfering with our natural enjoyment of the sex.

Here's a hint, try synchronising your deep slow breathing with your partner's.

4. Let go of expectations.

Without expectations around sex, we are free to more naturally savour the experience … however it is!

We can be more open to the experience and learn more as a result.

Without expectations we free ourselves from disappointment.

Here's a trick … see if you can implement these techniques to improve your sex, without caring whether they work!

5. Focus on pleasure in sex rather than the sex act or outcome.

Regardless of certain ideas of sex perpetuated in the world, sex is not about the ending, it is about the whole experience.

Getting the girl, having an orgasm, giving an orgasm … these are all important aspects of sex.

But the most important element of sex is pleasure!

When you start enjoying every moment of sex … it will go on as long as you want!

6. Increase knowledge of your body.

Take the time to understand what brings you pleasure and learn how to pleasure yourself better. Don't forget to share your new knowledge with your partner too.

Read up about anatomy. The human body is amazing!

7. Increase knowledge of your partner's body.

Don't be afraid to ask questions and always be open to trying new things in bed. Explore every part of your partner's body like you have never seen or touched it before.

Every time you engage in sex it is a perfect opportunity to expand your sexual knowledge.

You can learn a lot about the human body by asking friends about their experiences too.

8. Reframe sex as a nurturing healing act.

When we attach shame and guilt to sex it is no wonder that it doesn't flow naturally. Adjust your mindset around sex to reflect only positive aspects.

Sex feels so good, how could a gift like this be anything other than healing!

9. Let go of performance anxiety.

Performance anxiety is unnecessary. Be kind to yourself. Learn to forgive yourself if things don't go perfectly, and then learn to stop caring about perfect anyway.

10. Feel your body from within.

Our sensual experience can be deepened dramatically by focusing on our experience from within our body.

Get out of your head and let your consciousness move to the centre of your body.

11. Be present.

Don't let the mind wander or engage in pointless internal chatter. Don't let your fantasies and thoughts take you further from the experience at hand.

Be in the present experience and the present moment.

So there you have it. Any of these tips individually can start to impact on your sexual performance right now. If you learn them all, you will be a master of your body in and out of the bedroom.

Don't be daunted if it takes a little time though … these are life changing techniques and may take a bit of practice.

And most importantly of course, enjoy yourself practising!!

Love, Mukee

Copyright 2005 Mukee Okan